I Hate the Gym

The 3 letter word I hate the most, but need more of in my life: GYM

Ahhhh the gym. It’s usually the place to go work out all of your day-to-day frustrations while working towards that bikini bod. But what if you’re like me? The person who wants that beach bod, but isn’t willing to give up Harry’s famous Bourbon Burger with a fresh batch of onion rings on the side?

That would be my life’s biggest question.

I never wanted that kind of food as a kid. I barely ate anything (especially if there was anything green touching my very buttery pasta).  I never really had a care for anything crazy. I ate the same basic food and loved it. Peanut butter & jelly? Yeah, I’d take that for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Salad? No, never; nope! One veggie on my plate was enough, but an entire bowl of them? Get lost.

Puberty eventually kicked in and gave me a hunger I loved to satisfy with all kinds of delicious foods (like that Bourbon Burger, ohmigod). I was lucky that I never gained a pound throughout high school (stayed the same happy weight of 110 for 5 years). But once I hit 20, the gut came to the Body Party. And then came the consequences of eating everything and not caring. You know, when you’re clothes get too tight and wearing a bikini top with shorts became a scary sight to see. But the fun didn’t stop there. Once I was able to drink, that didn’t help either. When I was 23, I was the heaviest I had ever been. To some, 150lbs was not that bad, but being 5’0″ft, I felt like the girl who ate the blueberry pie gum in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. I just felt… blown up.

At 150 pounds (left), I felt like the girl who ate the blueberry pie gum in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. 30 pounds later and lighter (right) , I felt back in control - all without ever walking into they gym

At 150 pounds (left), I felt like the girl who ate the blueberry pie gum in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. 30 pounds later and lighter (right) , I felt back in control – all without ever walking into they gym

Luckily, I was able to lose 30 lbs and surprisingly enough, it was not through the gym. I had switched off one of my anti depressants and lost 10 lbs in one week. Another big thing that helped was just not eating huge amounts of food in one sitting. I love eating until I feel like I’m going to blow and that is something I definitely need to work on (still to this day).

I would love to go to the gym and work out knowing I would get that bod that all women (supposedly) want. But for fuck’s sake, I really hate the gym. I always feel like people are watching everything you do. And it doesn’t help when you watch the videos online of people using the machines wrong (I always fear I’ll be on there). I have a hard enough time sweating my ass off while huffing and puffing on just the treadmill.

The gym is a very uncomfortable environment for me and I’m sure for many others as well. Society gives us this image that we all “think” we “should be” a certain way. I feel like being comfortable in your own skin is hard to do without getting SOME sort of criticism. Even if you have a perfect body, I feel like you’ll always be finding ways to change it for some silly reason or another. So screw it. I’m going to love who I am and not worry about being perfect. Who defines perfect anyway?

I’ve been on national TV as a heavy chick and not-so heavy chick. The emails we get in are hard not to take personally. To be honest, I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy our products, but did you really need to call me a ”fatass”?

Overall, it’s tough to do what’s right for you. Yeah, I just want to eat all the bad food for me and tell everyone to piss off, but if it would affect my health in a bad way. I have to put down the tacos and try a healthier alternative. But I can tell you this, I will never eat salad for as long as I live and I’m sticking to it. A girl has her limits. Ultimately, don’t let anyone else tell you how you should look. We’re all beautiful in our own way. They key is being healthy and feeling good about who you are. If you can accomplish those two things, you’ll be just fine